Fitness Room Flooring

Question by Why not? I’m Lexi! ?: What do you think of the first chapter of my story?
I’m 11 and want to know if it’s good for my age.

“What is this place?” I exclaimed, landing on the soft carpeted floor. “I think it’s a house, but why is it our size? Its so…small.” Trixie said, her ruby red wings slowing down as she gently landed on the ground next to me. (We’re about 4 inches tall, one of the things so charming about us faries.) “I don’t care what it is, I am SO tired! ” Heidi said, landing and blowing a strand of blonde hair out of her face. “You do whatever you want, I’M going to explore!” I exclaimed. “Me too. ” Trixie agreed. “You take upstairs”, I take downstairs. ” I said. “Heid, you wanna take this floor?” I asked her. “Ok, I guess. ” she said, getting up off the small blue loveseat. I ran down the little wooden stairs. “Ariana, you have wings. Why are you walking?” Heidi asked. “Technically I’m running. ” I told her, walking farther down the steps. It was a bedroom, obviously meant for a girly-girl, because everything was pink and butterfly-ey. The bed had was a light pink, and the matching pillow had a fusha and hot pink butterfly sown on it. The tiny pine wardrobe had a few outfit in it, including a hot pink ruffly shirt, a jean skirt, a pretty lavender short dress thingie that you’re apperantly supposed to wear tights with, and a T-shirt that had two bunnies saying “you are cuter than carrots”, which I stared at, trying to figure out how exactly that made sense. The room had little pictures of butterflies around it and some teeny fake lilys in a hot pink vase. This room was starting to make me sick, too girly, and being a girl, I have nothing against that, but it was too much. This room could be Heidi’s, at least while we’re still staying here. I walked into the next room, which was probably supposed to be for a boy, because it was all sports, but Trixie would just adore it. The bed’s comforter had a pattern of soccer balls, footballs, and basketballs. A small plastic basketballhoop hung in the corner above a soft plush basketball, and a baseball beanbag was against the wall, which was painted to look like a baseball feild. The cabinet had a football helmet at the bottom, along with a basketball uniform, a pair of jeans, and a plain white tee. It really was amazing that a human had taken time to make such tiny clothes. I walked into the next room, which was like a big game. The bed was painted gold to look like a Monopoly piece, and the walls were painted to look like a game board. This room was perfect. A pile of mini board games and a pair of little dice sat in the corner, and the dresser held a checked tee, a bright yellow Tweety shirt, a black skirt, and some jean shorts. The next door was cream colored, and had a big bed with brown shhets and pillows, and the dresser had a tuxedo and a fancy red dress. The next doorway held the staircase again. I walked up, to see Heidi sitting on the couch. “This is definatly the perfect place”. I said.”I like this place, exept that the kitchen doesn’t have real food. But the couches are sooo comfy, and the chan-” she was cut off by Trixie, who came running down the stairs screaming. “There are our-size people up there!” she gasped, looking worried. I slowly started to walk up, Heidi close behind, and Trixie squeezing my hand. I walked into the first room, which was a bathroom. I walked into the next room, which were filled with fake plants that had been sprayed with purfume. I walked to the next room, which was emty, exept for 5 our-size humans who sat, staring at us. I gasped, but they just sat still. I walked up to them and gently lifted up up the boy. He was light and, to my surprise, made of material. “Dolls.” I whispered. “So this is a dollhouse.” Just that moment, a door opened. Not in the dollhouse, but in the room it was in. A blonde human walked girl walked in, and I screamed.

tell me how it is, if I went was too or not enough descriptive, if it didn’t make much sense, etc. Thanks for reading I know it might be kind of long for some people.
I’ll add chapter 2 later when I finish it.
ummm, what first of all, Stephanie Myer sucks at writing, second this is nothing like Twilight.
Did you see a vampire in there? Or a werewolf? Or a girl from Pheonix? I think NOT!
i know i need to do another paragraph every time someone talks.But i didnt do it because I forgot when I was writing becuase I like writing alot and I was having fun.

I know my vocabulary is bad in this but I’m afraid of misspelling it and looking like an idiot.

Best answer:

Answer by Twilight Girl
OMG ITS CRAP! you will NEVER be the next stephenie meyer STOP STEALING HER IDEAS, get a LIFE.

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